Aerinravage's GamerCard

Friday, December 10, 2010

Final Farewells

Hello all.

For a number of reasons, this may be the end of my time in Vana'diel. I will continue to love all and serve all as a White Mage, gifted with a healing touch, a perceiving ear, and the Well of Sorrows. But I doubt I'll be doing any of that in Vana'diel anytime soon.

I've been working on my departure for some time, but with the latest S-E screwup, I may be denied even that. The December 6 update doesn't work on my PS3 and I'm not about to attempt their /workaround/ of reinstalling everything.

Hold on - I think I need to set the table.

I've long lamented that in the past 6 months or so I've gotten nowhere. My shell has (once again) basically fallen apart. I don't have any regular people to play with, and no organized group to assist me with the hard stuff. I don't necessarily mean endgame, but just Abyssea and AF3, Trials, new Rare/Ex gear, and so on. My last Party Log entry was on 9/25 and that was a shell thing. Other than that, I've had maybe one undocumented Dancer party and four trips into Abyssea. That's it. I'm tired of LFG for hours on end, and I suspect my gimpiness isn't helping.

So be it.

Furthermore, I just don't have the time I used to. Before last month, I was pulling back because of Ape. Her issues with online time haven't gone away and I got tired of fighting them. And then a few weeks ago I got kicked from the job that I loved dearly. So money goes away and so do indulgences like XI.

My plan was to see if I could cancel but rejoin after things sorted themselves out - maybe a month or two God willing! But then the December update broke PS2 play and things aren't looking positive for a simple fix. Plus, my plans to go to XIV seem to be pointless as word from Eorzea is that it's still broken (bazaar, quests, walkathons, etc.).

It doesn't help that I'm under a lot of stress and pressure. My gifts mean I'll survive but sometimes it just sucks having to be string enough for two people. Well, five, really (: I don't have anyone I can talk with about stuff because Ape and I just can't agree on how to handle stress in and of itself (causing her *more* stress) and I just can't find it in me to burden others. I know of several people who'd hang with me in a heartbeat, and I love them for it. But it's just not what I really need.

There's also some extra pressure to not be myself, so much. I'm not sure I like that. I am who I am, after all!

So, in summation, don't expect to see much more here. Even if by some miracle the stars align and I get back on, find a group on my schedule and get into all sorts of adventures, I just don't know if I can deal with the drama of The Real that surrounds Vana'diel for me.

If there's anyone still in Vana'diel that was hoping I'd come back and amateur up my WHM (lol Fhox) or finish out my Dancer, I'm sorry.

Missing you all,

Aerin

P.S. I've essentially moved away from Yahoo mail to GMail because a) Google is awesome, and b) I can access my Google accounts using a standard IMAP/POP3 client like Evolution. I'm at first name dot last name at gmail dot com.