Now Is Not The Time For Anger

Hello everyone. I hope, after the horrors of this weekend that the day finds you well enough.

This post is going to be a long one and I'm gonna cover a lot.  Please bear with.

More than once on Twitter, I've commented that Hillary is my choice largely because she's campaigning on gun control.  Unless I'm misreading or something's changed, Trump is a strong supporter of gun rights and the Second Amendment.

Please let me be clear (again). I'm not asking for "the gub'mint" to TAKE your guns.  What I want is a change to how guns are sold, promoted and used.  I consider myself a little-l libertarian in that what doesn't harm another shouldn't be overly restricted.  BUT time and time again we've shown that collectively we aren't capable of self-control.

So, what I really pray for is that we reach a point in this country that guns are treated like cigarettes - legal, but restricted and frowned upon.  We finally beat back the tobacco companies in the name of public safety (though I still want smoking in a car with a minor child to be a primary offence) and we need the same attitudes towards guns.

I want the NIH and people's doctors to be able to ask about guns. To do research on gun use, ownership and violence. There should be no reason on earth my daughter's pediatrician be barred from asking if we have a gun in the house.

More to the point, I don't want to see another post on Facebook, after something like the Pulse Nightclub shooting, wherein the author says it's our duty not just our right to be armed. No. No. No. It is our duty to be vigilant, not to be a mob.

So, back to politics. I mentioned being pro-Hillary after Pulse for both her gun control and pro-LGBT* positions. Actually, I responded to another tweet about voting in all possible races, supporting candidates who will do something about gun violence and bigotry.

A mutual twitter friend rebuked me, saying Hillary was using both issues conveniently, and was recently on the other side. She also dinged me for Hill's weak gun stance because apparently this friend's fiancee was shot dead 10 years ago.  I was gobsmacked - how could they NOT vote for Hillary since she's the only Presidential candidate saying they'll do something?

Hillary's a politician.  She's also human and allowed to change her mind.  Also also, here's the real point.  I believe Trump is telling the truth when he says he wants to close America off. That he's a xenophobe. That he wants gun rights. That he's anti gay marriage and the like.  I believe his supporters when they cheer for him.

Hillary may be a recent "convert" or she may be lying.  I don't know.  But damn it, I'll take the possible liar over vile truth any day of the week.

Moving on tangentially:

I've been under a lot of stress and this weekend isn't helping. It's only a matter of time before Elder comes out. I'm 100% supporting them, as is my family. Ape is uncommitted at this point and I don't know where her family will line up. On the way to dinner last night, I warned Ape if any of her family or the nephews' friends said anything stupid I was going to lose my mind and say something.

The pressure of feeling like I have to stand between Elder and people who should love them regardless of their gender is wearing me down. Thank GOD I have therapy tomorrow.

It's bad enough when Elder loses out on a good job because of gender discrimination. Or when their girlfriend's stepdad says something stupid and unwelcoming. Or when I wake up to hear some ignorant "person" shot up a nightclub because seeing two guys kissing earlier made him angry?

I have my *own* identity costing me "emotional spoons" (teaspoons - it's really not a lot considering) on a constant basis, but I'm not afraid for my life. Lately tho', I've begun to worry about Elder's. When they started driving, I dreaded "that call" - and got it, but they were OK. The car, not so much,

Now I dread "the other call." Every time they go out with friends I worry. And it makes me angry and sad that I have to. That people are so easily upset, bothered, angry by anything which to them is "other."

It's a lot like all this vitriol spread because of the new Ghostbusters, or Anita Sarkeesian commenting on games, or Lindy West saying she's happy with herself. Why are people so quick to hate that which isn't them? Or in agreement with their views?

Yes, I'm angry about the world Elder is growing up in. I'm angry about Pulse, and the ding-dong that was headed to an LA Pride event with weapons and explosives but thank God was stopped. I'm mildly angry at the guy who pulled out in front of me this morning forcing me to change lanes. I'm angry I have to *be* angry because that's not who I am.

And because anger doesn't usually lead anywhere positive. It can, of course, be a motivator for change. But for too many people, it just leads further down.

Long rambling story short: This week, and the next, and forever more, try to offset any anger you feel with love for yourself or another. I've been extra huggy this weekend because I want my loved ones to know for sure that I love them, no matter what happens.

I love you all and I wish nothing but blessings and peace. If you don't have that right now, I gently ask you find it any way you can. Don't let the darkness overwhelm you. It's not wrong to have moments of dark so long as they're broken up by light. And love.

I love you all!