On Being a Blue White Mage

(I can't *always* be happy, can I?)

A sad thought occurred to me today. Basically it goes like this. I'm an IT professional with almost 15 years of experience in coding, reporting, app support, hardware and I even have a little management experience. I've almost always worked as part of small teams, even if those units were part of much larger companies.

But now, I'm one of over a hundred I/T folks working for a multi-location corporation. As I once described my new situation to my fam: "I went from the top dog to being just another cog." This isn't the problem, as I'm really enjoying being part of a substantial enterprise for once.

What I thought of that brought me down is that the time I've spent so far in I/T have not taken me where I want to be skill-wise. Yes, I've been very successful for my employers, meeting almost every challenge and going beyond expectations often. When I walk around my new place and listen to the conversations my teammates are having, it's clear to me that I am not what I thought I was...

Thankfully my main skills, problem analysis and adaptability, are valued here and have led me to some successes in my new slot already. My team lead seems interested in putting more coding assignments in front of me, so that rocks.

As for Vana'diel, I do truly believe I'm a good WHM. I can only hope when I finally reach end-game WHM situations that I don't find I've been overestimating my abilities all this time!

Even Quicker!

I got to log in for about 15 minutes before family crisis mode kicked in. Fhox was helping me with the flower shortcut when we had unexpected company, and Ape called saying she needed help with Halloween stuff.

Maybe late Friday...

Quick Updates

Hello World!

I didn't log in last night at all. We got home late after Bran's first guitar lesson eval thingy and I really wanted to fix my GamerCard. Which I did. So I will resume play tonight, probably after Survivor.

Key Items

(Yes, Mood 1 even if I *am* gonna line-dance again)

Earlier in the day, I checked FFXIAH. All 6 stacks of my ninja socks were sold. ALL SIX! 44k gil would be waiting in my inbox. Bear in mind, these 6 stacks cost like 38k so it's not like I'm getting way rich off this. But I am getting my seamstress skill leveled basically for free or a little profit.

So, last night I logged in with the intent of doing only two things: collecting my money and using up that stupid Garlaige key. The money was easy, once I moved 10 stacks of crystals somewhere else. Garlaige was also easy (for once). Upon walking in to the Citadel, I see the "Gate opening...Gate closing" message. Then it pops again. And again. The whole way to that back corner, the gate is moving one way or another. I'm surprised it didn't break. Turns out a party was standing on the switches and repeatedly activating them.

10 minutes later I had another 8k gil. So I warped home, grabbed my Davoi key, and headed there. 20 minutes later, add close to 7k. All in all, a good night!

Fhox got on while I was playing with the AH and I told him I wasn't going to be on long. I had a headache and I wanted to get back to Firefly.

Confession time. Sometimes, I am an idiot. Most of you already knew this. But I am. How on Earth did I go like 6 years without watching all of Firefly? It's freakin' awesome! I enjoyed the few episodes I saw way back when so I don't know what took me so long with the DVD. I grabbed the season boxset at Target for like 16 dollars. You'd think I'd rush home, right? Nope...

Oh well. At least I'm enjoying it now!

At least, I will be, until the horror returns. Yes, tonight is Y night. Not only will I be returning to the dance class, I think I'm going to have to find some step charts. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right dang it! I get annoyed when I put less than my best into party support or tanking, so I guess I could have expected this reaction from myself... /sigh

A Very Busy Weekend

(Oh great, another job to feed...)

Friday - celebrated with Ape at one of her fave restaurants (she aced her classroom observation!), then she watched "The Strangers" with her visiting uncle, and her sis and BIL. As with many movies of its ilk, the box practically screams "Inspired by True Events!" My standard reply is, sure, a guy once knew a girl. After the movie, Ape looked into it. The events in the movie involved a couple enjoying a quiet night at home being mercilessly stalked and eventually done in by three freaks wearing garish cloth clown-face masks. The inspiring events? Someone came to the director's house one time when he was a boy. They had the wrong house. Wow.

I logged in a bit to try my luck with the Citadel key again. I wound up PLing a random party when their leader Alta asked if I could help while they waited for a rep. I initially thought she wanted me to join and I begged off but then we got it sorted. I told her I wasn't going to stay long because I was here on my own business, then wound up PLing for an hour. I escorted the puller and kept everyone healthy. No major drama other than having to apologise to their PLD for overcuring her. After scooting I tried to get past Gate One, but the two soloers there and I were not enough.

Saturday I got up early and messed around. Fhox was helping Sharley with DRG and I decided to help. Helping meant flagging it myself and as I WHM'ed my fuzzy butt all over the midwest, I got about halfway there. But I had to log since the Collective was headed to a corn maze. Yes, it's as exciting as it sounds. But I'm trying to make Ape happy ^^. Later after returning, she took off for awhile and I logged back on. I finished DRG, got my crystal ball and *FINALLY* closed out the Amazin' Scorpio quest after flagging it like a year ago.

Later still, I logged back in and basically hung out with Phax. I helped him farm some Alchemy mats and skill up Ninjutsu. It took awhile to start because I offered to get him Hyoton: Ichi from Norg and the "shop" NPC was closed... But we farmed for quite a while getting him a number of Water crystals and other goodies. Also, he waaay overpaid for the scroll so I might spot him one more if he needs any other Ichi elemental.

I think this was when Dark, Damu Aleu and I had a great big chat about Mithra-Galkan relations. Mostly about why the Galkas seem to want to have relations with all the Mithra lol. This was probably my longest truly in-char convo to date and I got a kick out of it. I need to write up something about Galkas and their obsession with fine, flexible Mithra tails being a result of their dissatisfaction with their own thick tree-limbs. :p

Sunday I got a party with Log and several other GDers, plus Rizz, a Mithran Dragoon I don't recall meeting before. I was on SCH and there seemed to be a little concern from the group as we assembled that I might not be able to hack main-healing by myself as there was no other healing in the party. Silly shellmates! Don't you know me by now? Other than two MP warnings I called for I was able to stay on top of curing, regens and poisonas despite Log's frequent chain-pulls.

There were two bad pulls, both involving gobs. I died both times and Yalto and Stoik split the other pair. Overall I was happy with my performance and even got to try out Scholar's 2-hour for the first time. Not bad, not bad. Also, I slightly refined my curing strategy to try not to pull hate. I still don't mind getting hit but I know it drives melees nuts. I hope they were satisfied and that Budeko was able to keep things going. XP was rolling in and I made two levels and the rest did well too.

Sunday night was a big AR party and during, I happened to check FFXIAH. Ninja socks are back to 8k! So, I logged in afterwards and crafted like crazy, going to 31.2 and putting 6 stacks up. On a Fhox Broadcasting program note: Yes, I still watch Desperate Hosewives with Ape. But now, I'm engrossed in Brothers and Sisters and that doesn't end until 11, so I'm tired now /yawn

More Quietness

(Even when I go to bed early...)

Wednesday night I logged in and tried going "/away on". This time, I got no tells and only one email from Fhox. I replied that this "loner phase" of mine was going to end soon and I'd be back in the shell ASAP. However, I've been thinking about it - FFXI has been dominating my thoughts a lot less lately. Some of that is due to finally having a real sports car to obsess over. My dad and I are trying to find a track we can drive to the limit on.

Also I've been watching more DVDs lately. I finished Initial D recently and began Firefly last night. I caught some of the eps when they aired on Fox all those years ago, but never with enough regularity to keep the story together. Once I finish this set it's off to MovieStop to see what I can watch next.

However, even without these external distractions, I'm wondering if I'm burning out. It's not that I dislike my time online. But I just don't seem to *crave* it as much as I used to. The past couple days of "me time" have led me to think I need to take more time for myself and my goals (see those goals on the right there? Yea?) while still making time for all my friends in-game.

Gameplay Recap: Wednesday was pretty much all farming. Thursday was an AF run for Yalto in the Necropolis that started at 9 and ended at 10 when Arch led us to an exit and my time was up anyway. Thankfully I was able to log off cleanly and on time. Didn't matter - I woke up TWICE in the middle of the night...

Tonight is going to be Honoring Teachers night - I'm honoring Ape for acing her in-class review by her administration. She's new at this grade level (she has a few years in the pre-K to K range) and was having anxiety attacks over what she was going to present while being observed.

And the subject she'd be watched in was Math, her least favorite. But she put together a neat lesson on factorization and prime & composite numbers and got good marks for her instructional design and clear love of education.

I have no idea what time I'm gonna be on. I might forgo play tonight and log in early Saturday instead. I can't keep wrecking my sleep schedule. I nearly died from it two years ago and if anything's gonna kill me IRL it won't be a game.

More personal notes: My sis was supposed to log in yesterday or today to check in, and to find the post title I punned together for her. So far, no contact. And Wednesday afternoon when I got home from work, Matt asked if he could mow the yard. Remember, this is the mini-Me that can't remember to clean up his room, his dinner dishes, etc. And he wanted to mow? I pulled out our mower and showed him how to work it, and y'know? He did a nice job for his first time out. He's finally realizing doing chores is worth it because we'll pay. I hate yard work!

It's like Dancing, But in a Line

(I don't have a Dancer mood bar)

Ummm, Saturday, and again last night, I did something I never expected to do. I danced with Ape. But, it wasn't nice romantic slow dancing. Or breakdancing, or the foxtrot. No, I LINE-danced. She and my mom have been taking a class for months now and twice have been invited to dance on stage at various little festivals - think Spring Flings, fall festivals, etc. Anyway, Saturday, she was trying to get Bran up for the audience participation bit. When the announcer asked for volunteers Bran started to get up and I coaxed him up by going as well. Plus, Ape had offered us each bribes $.$

So I did like 4 dances I never practiced. Only my raw Dancer skill and 5 years of rhythm-building DDR at a semi-competitive level helped ne through. Ape was very happy I got up there and thankfully enough for me, I was born without a sense of shame. I figure the awkward feelings of dozens of staring eyes and unsure movements would help when I finally get to cosplay.

Fast forward a bit. My mom says she has to drop the class she takes weekly with Ape (the one where they dance and Bran and I work out on the Y equipment) because she and my dad are switching something schedule-wise. Ape was devastated. So... I sucked it up and went last night. I was maybe one of 4 newbs. As before, my semi-natural skills helped although I learned quickly that there is a lot to learn. There's a whole new vocabulary of skills to master!

Ape was so overjoyed I went with her I could have probably asked her for anything. She even OFFERED to play FFXI with me. I may have to take her up on that, at least long enough to get a wedding in-game out of it.

And for more fun, read this!

More Fun with Fhox

(Lots of fun lately!)

Well, getting time to play lately's been a challenge. Matt's been wrapping up his first semester in middle school and starting two major projects (science fair and history profile) as well. Monday night was mostly chat with some farming and an Enz rescue and brief PL thrown in.

I wasn't very successful farming (no tests and only one Gravity) but I was able to put the one Rusty Dagger I got to good use ^^ End was leveling Thief and farming silks from Saruta crawlers and had gotten poisoned to death. My, how fondly I recall thse times... Dying in the grass. Dying at the gates. DYING IN TOWN ON THE MOG HOUSE STEPS >< Nothing says "noob" like having to be raised in-town. But I bet many of us have been there and won't admit it!

Anyway, Enz - on THF he should have been skilling up Dagger but he was using a sword. I teased him and he mentioned not being able to buy anything before heading out to farm, so I gave him the Rusty I had. He seemed to notice an improvement right off - A rank'll do that!

Most of the rest of Monday was chatting in shell and with Phax. He's apparently having some love drama with some off-again-on-again with a girl he likes. I think when I left they were back to talking. I never got a chance to ask where they met or anything 'cos he got in a party and I got wrapped up with Enz.

Also, since I don't think he saw this. As we were chatting about serious love and a desire for commitment, I posed this: Out of 14 girls I dated how many were strictly dates and not "spouse material evals"? Answer, one. From my teen days to getting married in college I never really dated around. I wanted what my parents have - a strong friendship, close ties, romance and fun together. So that's what I always sought, and eventually found in Ape. Take *THAT* Missy!

Oh, the ninja sock market died, leaving me with two unsold stacks I'll hang on to until the weekend.

Yesterday, after the Y (more on *THAT* later!) I logged in and took off my pearls. Tonight was going to be ME time. I really don't mind helping my friends, but lately, with all the stress and such, I feel I need to do more for me and my progression. Hence the recent crafting and melee binges.

My plans got a slight detour when, on waking up in my house I found an email. I expected it to be from Phax and was surprised to see Dark's name on it. He wanted to set up an XP party for Isa and sought my skilled WHM services. I PMed him back and said it was fine if I could get some cleaning done first (company coming tomorrow). We began to assemble in Whitegate.

I ran into Isa first and as expected, she noticed my missing pearl. She said it seemed odd and I agreed but explained the "me time" thing. I bet her 50 gil that Fhox would want to know what was up once he logged in. Sure enough, he must've asked Isa what I was up to because she said I won the bet. Later in PM I elaborated and he sympathised. He seems to want to change RDB somehow but we never really got into it, because...

We partied in the woodlands on Lesser Colibri and smashed the heck out of them. I hasted and cured, Isa Refreshed and enfeebed, Raven, our Dancer, kept Haste Samba up and through all of this there was no down time and constant chaining. I threw a Benecide at a key moment and managed to hold hate deep into the red HP - but Raven and Isa kept me alive until hate returned to the front line.

We disbanded late - I had said I needed out by 10-ish and didn't log until 10:50. And sweet Isa, she's still trying to keep me alerted to the time. Believe me, I was watching the clock and furiously searching for a rep among only one seeker and lots of blind invites. We had to settle for disbanding.

I think I pulled in close to 7k XP in just about 75 minutes, a great rate with little effort. Fhox wanted to make SMN plans with us, Dex and Puma but I was kept busy with a 4-man Haste cycle, Regens and many Cure III's. I also reminded him SMN wasn't my strong suit.

Fhox also mentioned some new RDB drama but I begged off on a full explanation. I told him he should start a blog and after some more blog-teasing he said "Get out of my sight". I hope that was a mt but I responded with {Casting spell.} {Invisible} - no response. Hmmm. I'll have to get that drama update tonight. I went to bed late and Ape and I chatted a bit before drifting off.

Reality Check

(And at lunchtime, too)

I'm in a rush so I may have to finish this / clarify stuff later.

Friday night was a great party in Qufim that got me well into WAR28. No major issues to report and our leader handled my rep beautifully.

Saturday was crafting (29.5!) and completion of the Halloween event. The +1 prize is a cloak with REFRESH. A level 1 cloak with Refresh. Let's see - SMN17, SCH25... Maybe even RDM and BLM. And since it's a level 1 item, Sync parties should have no effect on its effect!

Also Saturday, I invited Tonerith to RDB, and got a little sack envy from one of Fhox's recent recruits.

Now, on to the reason for today's bizarre title. Well, two reasons.

First, I've played this game for almost 2 years now. In that time, I've had a couple people asked me where I lived and generic personal stuff. But not too long ago, someone asked me my IRL name. I told them I'd have to think about it, and I think the decision is going to have to be {No thanks!} I hate to seem rude or stingy, but when I'm in-game, I pretty much *AM* Aerin. I don't want to set a precedent of being addressed in game as Mike. Oh... (j/k, I'm not that dingy!)

Second, Clone the Elder is getting harder to help academically. Not so much that the work is too hard for us (I miss questions on "Fifth Grader" regularly lol) but that he isn't keeping up with due dates. Yes, he has ADD. Yes, he's a kid and this crap is dull. But he's in an advanced track at a science-focused school and his grades are getting hammered mostly because he simply overlooks things.

Ape and I are trying to figure out how to help him and still have our lives too - I was up past 11 last night (/yawn) because he forgot to study for his science semester test! 20-odd pages of notes that he had on him all weekend...

Ape is considering quitting her job to either assist him full time (there are lots of calls to the teachers to be made and assignments and notes to coordinate) or home school him. In addition to her other responsibilities, which she handles well.

But that's not really what I'm upset about. What really makes me sad is that he clearly has genius capabilities in his brain. And I'm not just saying that as a parent - he's over 130 IQ if I recall. However, give him something creative and he just takes off. He's done various art projects that look really well-done and sophisticated. He doodles constantly. He's interested in music and seems to have a knack for guitar. And he's been playing with Pivot, the stick-figure animation tool. His animations are silly, but very creative and nuanced.

I don't know if Ape agrees, but I want him to be in an academic track that focuses on creativity in various media. The art middle school here has brutal auditions and a lot of applicants gunning for few slots, and this is PUBLIC school. The privates are prolly worse!

If any of you have any ideas I'd love to hear them! We've told him if he can't keep his grades at least C or above he's going to be pulled out, but I have no idea where we'd send him. Most of the rest of the middle schools in our city are D or F rated... I'm already driving 21 miles to take him to school, then 18+ for my trip to work, followed by another 20-mile run home. I drive a giant triangle across the city for this kid, because I love him and want him to be happy.

I know school usually stinks for kids - I was a C student myself and spent as little time with school as possible. But somehow we have to find a way. There's a lot of potential at his school - robotics, web design, band, etc. But first year's can't get into most of these... If we can survive this year maybe the next will come together?

P.S. No EXPcon - The change in plans where we'd stay Saturday night meant I missed the big panels Friday and Saturday morning. There's not much else and we wound up doing a ton of stuff together Saturday and some Sunday. Plus, I really want to cosplay!

Don't Panic

(Written in large, friendly letters on the cover)

If anyone was wondering what happened to me, the answer is basically a tired me, a sick wife and an unruly child. I've had my hands full and after back-to-back long nights in Vana'diel, I decided I had to take care of myself, family issues or not.

But as it happens I've needed the time to help Ape out with stuff and because of Clone the Elder issues I've been late to work and later getting home, further compressing my schedule. I've also been tearing through the 9-disc Initial D set I mentioned earlier - only 2 discs left and then I trade it in for Season 2, and then I might start working my way through other series. I'm interested in Azumanga Daioh and Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. I also want to revisit Witch Hunter Robin - I saw most of it on CN but missed a few key eps.

Tonight is supposed to be Day 1 at the EXPcon in St. Augustine, and tomorrow is an overnight stay. Dunno how much playing I'm going to get in whis weekend...

Ja ne!

Giving It My All

(Reduce speed to 3/4 impulse, Mr. Sulu)

Monday was supposed to be a GD Sync party but the four of us who signed on for it couldn't get our crap together. In the meantime, I farmed Saruta Cotton in Tahrongi and Buburimu. I also said "Howdy" to Aleu as I passed by her in Jeuno. Also also, Stoik had asked for a Raise and I was going to bring him the Linen Cloth he'd requested earlier but when I reached the OP Warp guy in Windy, Stoik had apparently gotten a raise elsewhere.

So imagine my surprise when about 10 minutes into farming he pops on needing another. I declined this time because quite honestly, I didn't want to pay for 3 OP warps when 2 would have done. Also, I was really getting into farming mode and didn't want to lose time. The drop rate isn't that hot.

With the non-party's breakup and Fhox's PMs, I changed shells. There wasn't a lot going on but Enz and Ali are back ^^ There were two new Brigaders and one was chatting with Fhox when I arrived. Somehow, Fhox's "Red Mage" switch got flipped and the discussion began with {Backhand Blow} and ended with my {Mithra} {Dancer} = {Divine Magic}. I wonder if Fhox alerted Aryianna (sp) to the fact I'm a dude since he told me Ary was also male on a female toon.

Tuesday I spent over half an hour verifying my screenshots. I have a couple dozen that need posting. So I didn't actually get in until about 9:40. Fhox requested my help in the Citadel and at first I thought it was a Sync party. I told him 30 minutes tops and he agreed. A sleepy hour and a half later, I logged.

It wasn't an XP party. It was a WHM coffer hunt for Puma and possibly Isa and Enz. We made decent progress with minimal aggro but we had to breach both gates, and we had to hit 3 twice because of a directional mixup. On the second pass-through Puma's falling Sneak brought the slimes and although we made it into the door, we soon had 4 mobs on us. I did my best to bring the pain WHM-stype with all the Banishga and Earth Shaker damage I could muster. I certainly held a good amount of hate ^^

We all made it and I apologized for the add - my Shaker brought an otherwise disinterested Beetle into the fray. But I Benedictioned to make up for it lol.

We ended the run coffer-less and I suggested Puma log out behind #2 - it at least has 4 spawns to #3's 3 and he might get lucky and wake up before another shell raids the area.

Appreciation to Isa for trying to keep me on track bedtime-wise, and also to Puma and Enz for understanding. And no, this isn't a dig at Fhox, so put that Enfire-charmed sword down Boss! Actually, I'm a little frustrated at myself for letting things get this way. I'm tired and achy and I know less sleep makes it worse. But I can't help myself. I just want to make people happy, and certainly not strand them just out of reach of a major goal like AF.

/sigh I guess it's why I play WHM most, after all! A dear friend basically told me I'm too nice for my own good. Perhaps, but seriously, I really need to behave for a few days or I'm going to really regret it physically.

Suck It, Trebek!

(...)

Here's another thing I meant to post about earlier. I recently got my company phone. It's a nice Motorola piece and the carrier rhymes with Berizon. Did I mention I hate them? I don't hate many things, but Berizon is one of them. They offer a selection of great handsets, and apparently a good network (and hilarious commercials to go with it), but then they lock down the hardware and proceed to nickel and dime customers. It's one thing to sell (lease, whatever) hardware and offer extra functionality for additional fees. Sometimes it's taken too far (lots of DLC falls into this category). But at least the core thing functions as advertised and the customer can decide if the extra bits are worth the cash.

But taking something and locking down innate functionality, ESPECIALLY when the same exact hardware with another vendor is NOT so restricted, is unacceptable. Enter Berizon. The phone I have has both BlueTooth and mini-USB connections. It supports multimedia and can sync calendar and contacts using ICF and VCF files. But out of the box, the only transfer that works is BT beaming of a vCard contact (VCF format). Thankfully, I found out how to format vCards and took a dump from my old Nokia with about 110 contacts, built a new file and BT'ed them to my phone.

That worked they way God and Motorola intended. But that's where the fun stops. Even with Moto's USB drivers installed, I can only browse some of the phone's filesystem and no transfer will complete. So, this weekend, I decided to play Suck It, Trebek!. See, I don't like being told "No". I rarely tell others no and resent when I get hit with one. And "no" in connection to something like fair use and hardware freedom makes me seethe. Really. A quick Google search at home led me to a great page with a three-step process for transferring my own content to the phone and using it as Moto designed it to be used. I think I was up and running with personal ringtones in about 30 minutes. Suck It, Trebek!

Y'know, the problem isn't so much the money. I went to a Berizon counter and asked the gentleman there about the minimum purchase I'd need to make to do what I need - put my own MP3's on the phone for ringers. I don't want to use the phone as a media device. That's TinyWonder's job. But my God, do the included ringers blow. So the clerk points me to a $30 package that includes a CD with software drivers, a USB cable, and a stereo plug-in headset. Did I mention this phone uses 2.5mm plugs so every headset I own doesn't fit? >< But I have a BT earpiece for calls anyway. So, my 30 bones would get me a cable I have 5 of already, a headset I'll never use, and a disc of software I wouldn't need in the first place if they weren't hell-bent on "value-adding" everything to infinity and beyond.

Since I'm not doing anything with the phone it wasn't designed to do in the first place, I don't feel guilty about going a different route for the file copy. I do wish there was a better way to do this - I'd prefer to stick with standard vendor tools for stuff like this. And I'm not opposed to paying for real value. But having an arrogant company spit in my face like that only makes me want to play Suck It, Trebek! all the more. So congrats Berizon, you just lost the game.

Now, If I could only find a way to stick it to our cable monopoly which rhymes with Concast. Oh wait, I already did. ClearWire FTW!

Greets to Moe's Town

(Get it? Get it?!)

I chatted briefly with my sis yesterday and the topic of my little blog came up. Ape threw me under the bus for the over-played weekend I posted about. I mentioned to Sis that I was sorry that had happened and that I'd even publicly apologized for messing up Ape's weekend. She didn't know about my blog so I gave her the address to check out later. Hopefully she'll post. But more likely, my BIL will, as he's gotten sucked into that OTHER MMO, WarCrack. Maybe some of the info I have will be helpful to him. Then it was time for a fantastic dinner and Amazing Race viewing party at Mom's!

Also, I meant to post this earlier in the week. I mentioned MySQLGame some time back. I still play it every couple of days. Well, I recently got a blind invite to my server's number 1 guild, err, "clique". I didn't accept at first (see Fhox and RDB, c.04/2007) but gave in yesterday because I think the game is changing. A lot of farm rows have been obliterated lately and once they're all gone guilds are gonna turn on each other in a serious way to see if they can. Per DarkCooger's ranking site, I'm ranked 154th. But I do have pretty substantial rows. All 8 carry 14 money and fuel factories and lately I've been investing in both attackers and defenders. I got hit twice by lolzj so I beefed up the attacked row but now I realize as farms disappear rows like mine become juicy targets.

It doesn't matter to some if they'll lose a lot of attackers - they may still attack just because they're bored or to try to assert their dominance. Almost every one of my rows is AM1/DM2 so fortunately anything over 5 can't attack me (if I understand the rules). My plan is to take every row to money/fuel 15, 50k defenders and 100k attackers. Then everything I can scrounge up goes into row #9 and more attackers. Once I have massive attack power I might flip the switch and take AM/DM up to where I can start pillaging some high-level rows of my own. I might go scorched-earth and destroy as many high-powered rows near mine as I can, especially near my beachfront spread in the 600's.

Sleepless Sewing

(Clothcrafting Rank Up!)

Kind of a long weekend so I know this won't be as detailed as I'd like. Friday night was pretty much all crafting, even though I had my flag up. We didn't get date night because of a sicky, so the schedule got a little messed up. In any case I made a few more obi then switched back to tabi. I think I got to about 25 when Magiczeppelin put out a call for AF coffer help in the Citadel. It was already after 3 and I was tired but I wanted to help. Teferi and Stoik were the others in the party.

We plowed our way in, and I had an embarrassing moment when a party leveling near Gate 1 helped me open it and I *missed* it! I had to get a second helping of help. Eventually, well after 4, Zep called a halt. He was gonna log behind Gate 3 and hope for the best. Less than 5 minutes after he logged, the coffer popped. I hope he got it later!

Saturday was a long day. Ape gave me a few hours in the afternoon while she and her fam shopped at a new store. I spent most of the time crafting ^^ I made it to 28 (!) just as Seban and Pazaru requested a second tele to Mea. Turns out they were doing Windy 2-1 and I offered to help them in Shakrami looking for the Lapis Coral.

Oh yeah - The boys watched me for a bit riding the manaclipper. I explained about fishermen, reeling in monsters, and other trivia. I netted a Clot Plasma which I almost NPCed because I had no idea it was worth close to 10k!!! And since I was unlocking the Purgonorgo Island tele from my Savage swimsuit, I might try to grab one a week.

Later we went to dinner, mini golf and a Barnes & Noble with our friends. When we got home at 11-ish we watched some SNL and then while Ape surfed the web I watched more Initial D.

Look, try not to laugh to hard at a 36-year old married father of 2 watching drift anime. I've been into sports cars and precision driving for well over a decade and now that I *finally* have a sports car of my own (Mazda RX-8) I'm finally getting to apply all the skills I've leveled up on FF cars to a proper FR platform with decent power.

I logged back on close to 2:30 and instead of crafting I finally got a party! On WAR! I was in Jeuno selling off the heaps of ninja socks I'd made and on getting the invite grabbed the first Kazham-bound boat I could. On the way the leader asked me to change to either PLD or NIN. I was kinda happy because I assume he actually took the time to read my /seacom. However, I really wanted to try out WAR/NIN dual-wielding axes. I resisted by was going to change when he popped back with a "keep it" note.

Turns out we had two warriors - Melvina, another Mithra, was also WAR/NIN. It seems like she was hitting more often than I was. Certainly, I was missing about as often as I hit. We had pretty identical accessories but a key diff was her armor was loaded with DEX and AGI boosts. Hmmm...

Michaels, our leader, pulled nonstop and I got close to 6k XP in less than an hour. We had 2 deaths - Michaels died but got a raise from our WHM, then later the WHM got one-shotted. Michaels left and after over 5 minutes waiting for the WHM, Melvina (new leader) disbanded. I wished her well with her RL arm injury.

Sunday was just a 10-minute stop to grab money and put the last of the socks up. Not only are they all selling rapidly, but I'm clearing 2-3k profit. I may wind up losing "just" 50-60k on the crafting grind versus the 130k-odd I was looking at earlier. I was actually getting bummed about the gilsink.

Crafting for (Masochistic) Fun and (Negative) Profit

My mood WAS this:

(Oh well...I can make it back on NIN tools)

But then my whole post got eaten and the autosaved draft was EMPTY!!! /argh

Anyway, what I said was basically this: I didn't do anything but craft for 2 hours last night, save for a rescue tele for Enz. Dark's looking for some help this weekend and I plan on working in both shells, and hopefully finally getting a chance to try out NIN/WAR at 24+. Couldn't party if I wanted to because Ape and I watched Survivor, Gray's Anatomy and ER.

Started on shinobi-tabi but after too many breaks went back to the heko obi. I did get 1 and 2/3rd stacks and added from my own Ninja stash to put 2 full stacks up on the AH. Got from 21 to 24 and change by synthing and desynthing over and over. Will switch back to tabi once I hit 25 or 26.

Some interesting chatter in GD, with Fhox and with Phax. More fun salacious chat in GD courtesy of Dark and my auto-sarcasm response ^^

Ran into two crafters several times while blowing a wad of gil on mats: Qooooooo and Kylie. I always wondered how the economy could handle double-digit quantities of stacks of crystals. Now I know - I think I personally bought 5 stacks of Earth and 3 of Lightning, not to mention all the cotton from the Guild shop.

Things That Irritate Me

(No, really, I'm irritable!)

* People who PM you for a party then cancel almost immediately

* Flaky internet connections

* Sand

* The way IE 6 works here on Blogger. I'm stuck using IE *blech* to make these updates...

* People at 30+ who still want you to put your flag up upon reaching camp. Please just target me then type "/pcmd add" - it's so much faster and more professional

* Sticky fingers

* Fleas

* Grinding clothcraft and not having good recipes to use from 22-34. I don't want to make a zillion Heko Obi then have to trash or NPC them at a huge loss

Last night was pretty simple - I flagged up on WAR/NIN, got a request then a cancel (see above) then thought Fhox and Co. were gonna hit a few ToAU missions. I thought I was already on 13, Lost Kingdoms but it turns out I never closed out 12. Fhox was on 15 but said he and Dex might be able to help me with my NM Fomor fight.

After trying my hand at Heko Obi (27), I gave up. I can't sell them nearly fast enough for this to work. I'm going to try Shinobi-tabi (34) and just deal with the breaks. At least I should be able to sell them as fast as I can make them, even if I have to undercut a bit for a smaller loss.

I made my way to Aht Urghan then rode the boat to Nashmau. Bored, I took on an EP Wind Elemental. HA! We fought to a draw for 10 minutes and I only survived because I was able to stick a couple of Reposes on it and rest up after casting Stoneskin. The fight ended when the boat docked with both of us near 95% health.

In Nashmau I properly flagged AU13. Fhox changed plans a bit - we were going to try Charming Trio again. He wanted each melee to buy 3 potions and the mage to grab 3 ethers. I bought mine (plus one to repay Fhox), relocated to Jeuno and waited. I had to help Matt with typing his math project soI did that while Fhox, Puma Raki and Isa worked on coffer drops for AF bits.

Erata was geared up and waiting in Giddeus but by 10, the rest weren't done so I had to bow out. I stuck around a bit to tele them from Jeuno.

Tonight I want to hang out with Green Death a bit. I've been stopping in as I log in but then Fhox gets on an hour or so after me and I've been switching. I think I'll have a good chance to help both shells a lot this weekend and have kind of neglected GD during this week.

Oh, for the current 1-month period, Google Analytics says there have been 240 hits on my little blog, from 17 states and about 8 countries outside the US! Ireland, Japan, Canada... Wow!

Revelations From Tamaran

(Free /hugs for whomever gets that)

Today was supposed to be a crafting day, as I got on close to 5:30 and it was Y night. I launched right in to Yag fletchings and it didn't take long to get halfway to 22, the cap. So now I have 2 stacks of fletchings and am in need of a new recipe to hit 28 with.

Fhox was on, and was shocked I was as well. He asked, "What are you doing here?" which threw me and then it was more of a "here, NOW" kinda thing. I explained my schedule sometimes gets me home by 4:30 but I had to mow and do dishes first.

In any case, while crafting away, Star pleaded in shell for someone to join her party in the Dunes. I begged off, but some time later she PMed me with the same request. So I warned her I had to leave in less than 30 minutes and warped out to the Konschact lizard camp. Upon meeting the party, I said my hellos and kneeled, as is my custom. Star shouted in party chat: "DON'T KNEEL". Intrigued, I PMed a "Why?", not sure what to expect. The answer honestly put a smile on my face: "When you do that it makes you look like a tramp." I took her words to mean she doesn't think I should bow and scrape so much. I'm not sure if she meant anything else by it.

While I appreciated her concern and told her so, I don't think I can stop with the manners. For starters, I do it because it's neat and adds a layer of chivalrous honor to the adventure. Also, I mean the respect I'm offering. And, that's just how my momma raised me ^^

I only had 15 minutes in the Dunes and upon accepting Star's invite, I saw Arch was in the party also. By the time the group assembled (including two rescue runs by me to the tunnel) we had a grand total of two pulls. The first went well, netting me 105xp banded. The next one killed me and Xanthos. Turns out it was a link but I didn't see the second lizzy until I was already dead.

Offers to change and raise were made but I said I had to run and didn't mind HPing. Xanthos' HP was in Selbina and he eventually chose that route. I warped home and logged out.

After the Y I logged in again to wrap up my synthing, go on a farming run and to make my way to Jeuno and sell the finished goods as well as a Bouncer Club and Wilow Wand I don't need anymore. I never made it to Jeuno, what with a few chats going on and a last-minute tele passenger. I wound up chatting with Phax, Vagustae and the passenger (who popped out of the MH entrance shouting for a 5k tele).

I had been teasing Vagu thinking she was AFK: "Stop stalking me or I'll have to tell my moogle ^^" But AFK she was not! We chatted for a sec, as she was off to farm. I wished her luck and returned to Phax and my passenger who was gracious enough to try to pay me the 2k I requested and to do it again on landing after I emptied an inventory slot ><

Tonight I have to get to Jeuno to sell this stuff and maybe begin the next leg of synths.

Getting Personal

Typing blind on a rocket cycle…Don't ask

This entry is not like the others. This is a more personal note about something I care about and have certain experiences in. It's a little deep and a little dark, so be advised efore you read on ^^

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For years (far more than I can remember) I’ve lamented that so many girls are so down on themselves. A lot of the girls I’ve known in my life have been overly self-conscious or insecure or whatever about their looks or abilities or whatever.

Last year or so when Dove kicked off their campaign for real women, I was impressed. Recently they started something else – self-esteem workshops for girls so they don’t grow up into the neurotic messes many would otherwise likely become.

I’m not being idealistic here – I know not *every* woman is a goddess with perfect skin and natural talents in life skills (I don’t mean cooking!). But there are so many who sell themselves short it makes baby Aerin cry.

More times than I ever expected, I’ve had to be the rock for someone who was really down. And I don’t mean just blue, or having a rough week. I mean suicidal. Now, not all of these counseling sessions were caused by self esteem. But I’m sure a lack of it played a part in most. People wonder if I’m as calm and balanced IRL as I seem to be in-game. The answer is yes. Like Harry who can see thestrals because he’s known Death, I (for some reason) am very sensitive to others’ emotions, and am an excellent listener. Soooo, either I attract those in need or they seek me out. Either way, I’ve been the “negative emotional energy absorber” for lots of people on many occasions. The worst was when we thought my mom was dying of cancer. My dad was a wreck and my sis wouldn’t stop crying. So it fell to me to keep it together and buttress all of them until the crisis passed. Which for us, thank God, it did.

I’m not sure where I ‘m going with all this, so I hope I can clean it all up in post (-editing). But basically, I just want more people to believe in themselves and enjoy what they have. I think it’s one of the main reasons I focus so much more on party support rather than being a DD stud or whatever. I’ve said it before – helping others enjoy their time here is my big attraction to MMO’s. And helping people enjoy themselves is my big attraction to WHM, and myself.

A Little Late Night Action

(A Quickie But Still Rewarding!)

I logged in briefly before dinner and chatted with GD for a bit. They were in Zi'Tah working on unlocking SAM. I wasn't able to help as it was almost dinnertime and Boy Scouts was right after. But when we returned, I jumped on at about 8:40.

It was quiet and I was flagged up on WAR/NIN but by 9:10 it was too late to start anything. I was going to try synthing Yag fletchings to get closer to 22 in clothcraft but Fhox got ahold of me first. Turns out, 6 Brigaders were in Valkurm, synced down to 10. I spontaneously warped out there to help and just as I arrived, Star was leaving. The rest of the party was Fhox, Isa, Raki, Bene and Shar (sp), a new Brigader. Star seemed a little surprised by my sudden appearance!

I took her place and we bumped up to 14, Shar's level. We messed around with snippers, gobs and at the end, flies and pugs. XP wasn't too bad and I may have gained about 2k by the end. Raki pulled and Isa and I duo-WHMed, allwing Fhox to melee.

The fun of the evening came when we were moving camps and Shar fell behind. I stayed with her and very soon she wound up getting chased by a Gambler. I pulled it off her and was dead in 30 seconds, far too fast to grab my RR scroll. So, there I was, dead, in my WHM AF, and getting a raise from FHOX. /sigh I told the party to keep this between us, lest my rep be get a little tarnished ^^ Fhox asked if I had reraise up but sync eats the effect and at 14 I can't recast it. He was remarkably restrained tho', I thought for sure I'd earned another {Amateur}.

As we were ending close to 10:30, Sabon, a DNC froend of Raki's wandered by. Back at full WHM power, I buffed him for a bit and Fhox invited him to RDB.

So now, RDB and GD are filling up and getting more regularly active! I may have to schedule this after all. But that's a good thing, overall!

P.S. Hi Phax!

Day of Rest

No play; didn't want to push my luck. By the afternoon we'd sorted things but also uncovered some really interesting issues. Basically, she doesn't equate online-only friends with "real" friendship and wonders why I don't hang out with more flesh-and-blood type people. Well, almost every weekend we're hanging out with one of two "mutual friend couples", and/or some family relation, usually SIL & her hubby.

So it's not Ilike I shun human interaction. But she really likes having couple firends to hang out with and I think she'd love it if we added more couples to the rotation. I am not OK with that. As it is, I don't have alot of "me" time and the last thing I want to do is give it away. Please don't misunderstand - I consider you my friends, online be damned, and I enjoy hanging out with you. Well, when it isn't getting me into hot water.

The other thing she threw out there is that she feels gaming is an escape, and a path to lethargy and poor health. Maybe so, maybe so. I'm not super fit but I can climb stairs and walk a mall. I can even DDR from time to time. In fact, I spent 4 years at a competitive level which probably did wonderful things for my cardio health.

To me, Vana is not an escape. I don't have anything to escape *from*. It's a destination unto itself, just like going to a club or some weekend getaway. And like I told her, FFXI is not what you want to do if you're having a bad day. It is not normally a mood elevator! I don't think she gets just how much of a JOB this game can be, and I'm not even into endgame! I think she'd kill me if I signed up with some Dynamis shell and had to schedule family events around raid times!

Sometime soon, I think she's gonna start reading my blog, or at least poking around. I've welcomed her many times and told her there are no secrets here. Hopefully if she does dive in, she'll see that I treat my online friendships as sincerely as she does her RL ones.

Also, we proved that you can fit 4 people and *two* weeks' worth of groceries (plus school backpacks!) into an RX-8! Let me put it to you this way - my packing and sorting skill is capped at 276 + boost items + full 5/5 merits. I can out-pack anyone.

What Have I Done?

(Always glad to help, but at what cost?)

Logged in at about 4:15 and did the following:

Short Qufim party on SCH that got me 25 - someone left and leader DBed. OK though - all I wanted was 25.

Chatted with GD some and was messing around when Stoik asked for help in Wajaom. Right after, Fhox got on and said it was time for 5-1 and 5-2. Couldn't find a rep for Stoik (who wanted a refresher anyway) so I begrudgingly went. Told leader Titen I needed to go and wasn't planning on partying, just helping a shellmate.

He found a BRD who rode out and waitied. Titen never called for a pause to swap us and Naveh (sp) LEFT! I told them one more chain then Stoik left after dinging. I left too as they were disbanding anyway. Warped home for Fhox. However, one hour or so there got me 6k XP!


Party: Fhox, Isa, Puma, Darkanda, Raki, Enz and me
Switched shells and spent the next 3.5 hours getting to the Vahzl gate crystal, FeiYin's arena and the fight (I sat out but watched the status while chatting with Phax), then back to Castle Zvahl after Enz and Isa flagged the next mission. Long long walk to the Throne Room of the Shadow Lord and we had to go two rounds! Near the end of his first form he goes pretty invincible. I had started nuking and we actually beat form one (sorry for the premature congrats!) but his Giga Slash (THREE of them) left only Puma, Dark and Isa alive and Isa fell quickly to SL's second form. For the second go-round, Raki stayed out instead of Fhox and we won handily. For some reason, SL didn't throw one GS...

After the cutscenes and some teles, I went AFK to spend time with Ape. She was very upset at how long I was on, and mad I didn't meet them for dinner at around 9:30. I think she still loves me though ^^

After she went to bed I came out to find Phax looking for help in the Dunes. He wanted me to bring him some stuff from the AH and so I couriered it to him. Then he mentions he needs a WHM for his party, so I accept. WHM19 was very weird - lowest WHM sync by far!

Party only lasted 15 minutes when someone bailed. Phax was upset because he'd spent all day trying to level and was going backwards and was finally getting some XP back. We chatted in the Dunes for a bit (hope you liked your macro!) and then I offered to take him to Jeuno. He had the Holla crystal so that made things faster, and as a WAR21 we didn't get a lot of aggro to slow us down. I think we actually made it in like 25 minutes.

Once in I chatted with Luto for kicks but the quest advanced! Phax bade me goodnight while I was trapped in a long CS and then I logged as well.

Phax commented I was odd, then elaborated I was very calm but with a little deviousness inside. TY, and I mean that! Yes, I am odd, and I love my uniqueness - my readers know that, right?! As I explained to him, I'm 90% WHM, 7% RDM, 3% BLM.

Some notes: Joked with Fhox when Puma, Dark and Enz temporarily switched to GD: "It's like traffic lights ^^" Fhox loled. Dark was very reserved this time, so I didn't get to break out the new macro for him. Still hate how time-consuming this game is WRT getting places.

Also, to expand on my earlier point about parties: I wasn't trying to say I look down on people who bail on parties. I know there are bad parties, and that sometimes RL makes the decision for us. What I meant was that I try to never leave people hanging because I want them to know I'm dependable. Part iof the whole "my rep is my most prized asset in-game" thing. I stuck with Stoik because I had already said yes, and I stuck with Fhox's rank-up even though it got me in trouble because too many people needed me there.

That's not to say that next time I can just plow through the clock - I really don't like letting Ape down either! But she doesn't understand that you can't pause this thing or just change players... /sigh

Total time on: 9 hours, minus 1 AFK (yikes!)

Good Movies Make Me Happy

(Yes, I like watching a really good sweetly-romantic movie with my sweetie ^^)

After work Ape and I watched a little Little League with our nephew's team, then went to see Nick and Nora. All apologies to Yalto, but I happen to really like Michael Cera, the goofy kid in this (and Juno, and...). I really had a great time with this movie, and it was as much the musical angle as it was the acting & storyline.

And, all respect to Yalto (and anyone else who feels the same) I think I like goofy Nick because he reminds me of me a bit. Not so much the insecure nervousness, but the singleminded dedication to his love. I went through school much the same way - desperately clinging to a relationship that didn't really exist. So I feel for people in that same boat.

Anyway, after checking in with RDB I switched to GD to see if anything was up before flagging on SCH again. Aleu was prepping or LB3 and an out-of-town trip. So there was a delay and I went ahead and flagged. Almost instantly, I got a request for main-healing in Qufim and I dashed out there. I met Sativarose and three others by the first worm camp and even with 5 we could take worms and were getting max xp. Later, a BLM joined us and we moved up to snips. XP was high but kills slowed somewhat. Even so, I wound up just shy of 25! /yay

I actually had to beg out of the party - at just after 1 I was really getting sleepy. I warned Sativa 45 minutes out, then 30. She was OK but didn't sayt anything in party chat. At 10 to go I mentioned there were no main-healers seeking save a lone WHM55, and she said not to worry as the party was over anyway. Oh...

It was a good thing too - she asked how many more kills and I said 3. I actually nodded off a bit at some point and had to fight to stay awake to the end. But I did it. The only death was Sativa's from a linked pull well before I fell asleep ^^.

Aleu came back on and I had to tell the group I was out. I'm hoping they're on sometime Saturday so I can help out.

Also also, Phax appears to be AFK - not one chat message. And Dark wasn't on either. And, ty again Yalto. He said Cera is the same in all his movies, so I asked if he expected me to change character if I changed MMOs. He said no, I'd still be a healer and would still be too nice for my own good. An already great night got a little better!

Charming Trio Isn't So Charming

Not on long because we took Shiroma for a wash, ate a nice relaxed dinner at the mall and had Survivor on. Also, I graded a pile of papers for Ape.

Anyway, I logged in and almost immediately Fhox was readying the Charming Trio fight - but this time Isa couldn't come. Raki came in her stead and we gave it two tries. Two wipes followed. However, after the first I figured out Fhox still had access to Bind and so for the second he bound one while I pulled Pepper. I died just as Pepper did, again.

For some reason this time my shadow-casting was interrupted a lot more than before. Still not sure what we can do but a good bind strat with nukes and heavy DD would help. I still believe getting the fight to 2 leeches quickly is what's going to cinch it. That way, we could bind one and triple-team the other for a likely quick kill, then repeat on the other.

Potions seem to be a factor but even with Fhox's gift I died quickly without shadows. Maybe NIN isn't the way to go - WAR/PLD maybe?

Oh yeah, my /DNC idea bombed - endrain was nice but I couldn't cure...

Fhox wants to try 5-2 for Dark and Isa. Ishida might help.

And, Phax may have been AFK when I alerted him about my new macro. Aleu sent me 10 Mithra cakes (per my request for sellers) and wanted to kknow why I wanted them - "because they're yummy" was my answer. I'm glad she already knows I'm weird.

Charming Trio Three-Way

Logged in around 8:30 and ran around flagged on SCH. No luck. Soloed in Dunes first with Sufhi then /BST and got level, then died when pet de-charmed and brought a link. Throughout my struggles GD chat was extremely *lively*. I thin Dark enjoys having a pal to tag-team-tease me and Phax is definitely up to the challenge. Working on a special macro for Phax but it would work for Dark too. LOTS of innuendo and trash talk although I did my best to keep my "Red (Light) Mage" levels low. At least when compared to the Dynamic Duo.

Was going to pack it in at about 9:50-10pm but Fhox PMed me and asked what I was doing. He offered to Raise me and as he was approaching I realized the awkwardness of the pearl situation. He joked he shoulda left me. After that Fhox asked Isa and I if we were up to doing Charming Trio. I accepted on the grounds we started by 10:30 and so we made our way to get our orbs (mine was already in storage leading to a stranded Fhox and Isa who were looking for a ride). After getting them, warping, changing and OPing it was a little after 10:30 but what the hey.

Fight went OK at first but Isa was taking way too much damage off her enfeebs. I wonder if she pulled aggro some other way. In any case Fhox and I almost had Pepper, the first leech when Isa bought it, then we died for lack of cure support. Next attempt will be me on NIN/DNC for frontline heals and endrain. I'd recommend full melee on all three spots - we have to get their numbers down fast because their drainkisses are too potent.

Also saw Vagu parked outside the MH. Browsed her Rodeo Drive bazaar and PMed her "Ummm, where's the "everything's a dollar" section of your bazaar?" Dunno if she got it as she was AFK.